Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize