New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I believe in your delicious
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize