I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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