I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
