She went from zero to smokin in five shots
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
