I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
