So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
