My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
