i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
false alarm, still single
Congratulations! We have a period
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