Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
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