dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
