I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
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