We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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