Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
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