Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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