Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
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