Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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