i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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