the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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