I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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