you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Randomize
