we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Why is your signature on my underwear?
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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