i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
