lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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