all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
