is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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