she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Randomize