I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
