TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Randomize
