mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
