Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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