I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
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