we should wear snuggies to the strip club
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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