I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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