All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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