I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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