Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
