I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
