Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
