You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Randomize
