Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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