Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
