tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
My bed smells like the plague
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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