I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
