just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
