i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
