if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize