tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
