think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
