I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i think i scared a bird with my dick
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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