ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Randomize
