benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
