That's intense
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
