For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
