If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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