Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
