i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
