Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Randomize