since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
