Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize