Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
