Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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