so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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