i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize
